ME! ME! ME!

You are the Center of the Universe.

A poem I once read said the least important word in the English language is the word "I." Balderdash! "I" is the most important word. The popular saying, "It's not about you," couldn't be more incorrect. It's all about you. How about "No man is an island?" Another dash of balder, of course, we are each "islands." No one, and I mean no one, on this earth cares about what happens to you as much as you do. That's all right, after all, you are the Center of the Universe.

Skeptics read on.

When people tell you they feel "good," did you ever wonder what their "good" is like? If you were in their body and felt the way they feel when they feel "good," might you be tempted to dial 911?

What does it feel like to them when people tell you they are in pain, hungry or sad. You know how it feels to you when you're in pain. You know what goes on in your innards when you're hungry and in your mind when you're sad. But do others twinge in the same places as you twinge? Are others grabbed in the same place you're grabbed?

You are the Center Of The Universe. Everything that happens in the world is given meaning by you based on your experiences and beliefs. Fred tells you he feels good, you immediately "know" how Fred feels based on how you feel when you feel good. How else could you possibly interpret Fred's condition?

When you walk down the theater aisle to your pricey, front-row seat, the people on your left you would call, "The people on my left." When you leave the theater, the people that you called "the people on my left," would now accurately be called, "The people on my right." The people didn't change sides during the play, but they did in relation to you.

Every way you view the world is in relation to you. Therefore you must be the "center," right?

Being the Center of the Universe carries with it good news and bad news:

Good news--you're always right

Bad news--the rest of the world doesn't always believe the good news. (The trick here is to realize that everyone else is also the Center of the Universe!)

You will have made a giant leap forward in living a less stressful and more rewarding life when you realize the truths in life you hold as indisputable are made up by you, judged by you, defended by you, and can, therefore, be changed by you. Contrary to popular parental precepts, the world does revolve around you.

"SHOULDING" ALL OVER

I feel pretty, I feel pretty. I feel pretty, witty and.. Right in the middle of my shower song came Smokey the cat. He pushed the shower door open, cat-swaggered in and began lapping up the water that had just recently washed off my squeaky clean body.

 If, when my children lived at home they would have done the same thing (open the shower door, not licked the floor), I would have been angry. The cat did it; I thought it was cute. Same act. Why would I have been mad at the kids and not the cat?

 Simply, kids should know better. Cats, on the other hand, aren't into shoulds.

 Anytime you have the word should, rattling around in your cranium, you can bet the negative emotion of anger is waiting to spill over everyone in sight. The kids should have known better, therefore I'm angry. Smokey shouldn't have known better, therefore I'm not angry. Kid or cat; my results are the same, I'm still standing wet, cold and waterlogged. Whether I choose to be angry or amused at the situation rests solely on my use of the word should.

  Should is a very future-oriented word. "If I throw this lit match into a gallon of gasoline, I should get an explosion." That should means all the elements are in place to generate a specific result. While an asinine use of a lit match, it is a legitimate use of the word should.

 Using should in the past is when we get into trouble. "Bob should have remembered our anniversary." He didn't. "My boss shouldn't have criticized me in front of others." She did. Go with it!

 Anything that has happened should have happened; otherwise, it would not have happened. The event did happen and it's over and done. Everything is right with nature, rejoice.

  Should paralyzes you in the present moment by requiring spending that present moment wishing events were different from what they are. Rather than fussing and fuming over the irretrievable past, use the present productively by putting a structure in place so a similar undesirable event does not happen again in the future. Maybe I put locks on the shower door?

  Next time you are angry look for the word should. It will not be hard to find. Reduce your shoulds, reduce your anger.